Vegetable Soup For Saturday: Where I Belong

Have you ever ask the question "Where I belong?" or a statement "..Where I belong"

This air feels strange to me
Feeling like a tragedy
I take a deep breath and close my eyes
One last time -Switchfoot

I wasn't sure how many times I've asked myself where I belong especially to a specific person, I think ever since I can remember exactly I don't know. I feel that this home is not really my home. It is always said that this is just a temporary placement and not really the whole of everything. Sounds crazy? Not really. I actually believe in it. People try to save their selves from dying, trying to live as long as they can to do things for people, for their loves ones. But, it is always too late we will going to die in a manner that I don't know what kind of death and then we are too late. 


I've meaning to always share the true me in every thing I write or tell, I'm sure a lot of us is in the state of getting lost on the way; mine I always get lost emotionally! I'm in the state of getting out of it. I feel different, alone but not lonely. I don't think it is insecurities, but rather a remorse in the situation where you feel that you've lost; the feeling of that you want to give and bring happiness to that specific person. But I don't think that we're in a good part anymore, a friend told me that we're now just making excuses. So what's the catch? Me to him, Him to me. My purpose for that person is not as clear as crystal where I belong to him is different from being home and pushing myself to go inside the house, it is always a question mark "where am I?" Even he said inside his heart its totally making me deaf that the sound just bouncing back echo. I'm stupid as I can be, But I am the most stupid and stubborn in the whole wide world to feel that I am needed. 



Then the sadness thought came to me when I see that life he has before when I came. People share how happy they are to meet a person that almost not as they expected to be with. But I've seen it, mine is different and this what I thought...


When you cross your path to me I never thought the change will be a huge step for you to take. Your alive, happy and well and then it vanish into thin air. I don't know if its a good thing or a bad thing. People surrounds you seems to forget you, they adore you and then I'm there I'm the blockage like kidney stones. I guess I'm the baddest thing in it! hahaha.