To My Dearest #6

So here I am again writing something out of nowhere, out of because this is one way I can communicate my feelings for you even if we are half away around the world, we are one day closer of being together. No ulterior motives, no lies, no deceits, nothing but pure anticipation of what lies ahead for you and me. I know I have to under go a painful process to realize that I didn't lost anything, that I am not for someone less, for someone who doesn't see me, but when I was left behind I gain even more. God showed me that he has someone more capable to deal with someone like me, He gave me a man of God, a man who love me as much as I will love him, who doesn't have to fake things or be someone else just have someone like me, who will nothing but aim a life we both deserve. He gave me you.
 As I brush the remnants of my past and make a huge step forward towards my happiness I felt free, I felt no regret. Maybe the only thing I'll regret is the time I lost to someone who doesn't deserve it, the words my lips utter when it is only being thrown away as garbage, that's my regret. I realize I deserve much more, so yes I have let go of someone I didn't deserve. You need a lot of space in my heart. I thought I won't be able to love someone again, but I am so wrong about it. God not intended me to think that way, because He has someone allotted for me and all I have to do is have faith. He showed me more than what I expected and prayed for.

I remove any remaining of him in my life, no more pieces of  inflicting pain, no more things that will remind me of him. No more. Is just a new me in a new life that is waiting for me. I am tired of making mistakes one after another, I am tired giving away myself when I shouldn't have. There's nothing holding me back anymore, I freed myself from the shackles of uncertainty. I forgive myself, love myself and build myself up again from being broken. Now, I am ready for you, I am ready to receive that love you are giving me, because you know I deserve it. You are my happy pill babe.

I know we're in the situation that is incomparable to any others. It's hard sweetie long distance is such a fragile thing. It has all the disadvantages of a normal relationship, but we can manage to make it work, because we both know it will end in due time. I'll wait for you.

You know you just arrive in time when all else fail you are there saving me out of it. It make sense now, why we didn't meet yet, why we missed a year or two. All make perfectly sense, because you're the person who make my life as I know it ends. You showed me the much deeper meaning of love despite the distance, you make me get back on my feet and believe that God did wrote my love story and it is you. All this time it was you. We are both something God is working on until we actually meet. It might be difficult, but we're definitely one in heart. You're also the person I am aiming for, you bring the best out of me and 100 percent you make me laugh and smile all the time. Aside from my family, you also pretty much the reason why I wake up in the morning. Because one day you and I will be inseparable, reaching our goals and striving a life that God has given us.


I love you from the distance.


xoxo,

Ivy