Wednesday Fever: L D R

Thank you so much for reading my blog! The experience of the world and my very own experience are my inspiration to continue blogging and so on. Special mention to Nick. Babe you are part of that inspiration and thanks for answering my questions about LDR. You're awesome! 

Long distance relationship SUCKS! That's the truth and I'm not writing this blog, because I hate it! I'm writing this because we need to be realistic about it. I'm trying to find new ideas about my blog and recently I'm so down with the idea of LDR. My favorite phrase on this one "it is not easy like a wallk in the park", I'll repeat myself long distance relationship is not easy. In my own opinion I really don't want to be in it, but I'm in love, I fell in love so I sacrifice the idea of not liking it, because everything with him will be worth it. A lot of people make a lot ways and share their experience about L D R. You can search them through out the net to help and give ideas how to make a relationship from a distance work, the only thing is THERE'S NO RULES! I'll share some few of my favorite key points about L D R in a manner of being logical and realistic and still be in love with your partner through out the process and not end up in a dumpster.

If I wanted to make a wish... what it will be? There's a lot of things in my head. Wish for my famliy, for the world, for myself... But most of all for my other half and that is I can easily transport myself to where he is right now. But it's a wishful thinking. Probably it will take decades to create a machine were you just automatically appear somewhere, or a super power perhaps like Gokus instant transmission technique. *nerd alert* Reality speaking we have airplanes, bus, boats to get to them. So we pretty much good though it takes a lot of time, money and effort. But for the ones we love it doesn't matter. Here are some key points that might help us with our L D R. I run through every site in the internet world their common ideas:

1. Stay in CONTACT. Constant Communication. 

Not to the point you'll smother them and blasted them with text and emails. Don't be that CRAZY girlfriend/boyfriend please just be normal! Let them know that you are around and remind them that you think about them. Avoid excessive communication people!Ask how they are, their day or what are their plans. According to WikiHow it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection as often as you can. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Frequent communication, no matter how minor, will show that you care enough to put in the time and effort into the relationship and it’s easier to keep up to date with each other’s lives. If you allow large (days at a time) gaps to pass by, your everyday experiences fade into the background, and you will have to start from scratch every time you speak.

• Learn your partner's preferred method for communication. Be sure to try a variety of technologies to see what works best for you both.You may try texting, emailing, or video-calling to keep up to date with little daily details of your lives.
• Work around your schedules. If you know you're going to be too busy to communicate, let your partner know in advance and try to stay in contact as best you can. If you're not as busy as your partner, remain flexible and focus on something of interest to you.  

2.  See it as a opportunity. According to LifeHack about LDR

Being in a long distance relationship have it's own disadvantages and advantages, ditto! But let's not talk the dis one rather let see L D R in the good side. We have to set our minds that it can lead to a lot of opportunity. Long distance provides the perfect opportunity for independent growth. Spend more time with friends, building genuine relationships with people outside of your romantic life. Visit family on random weekends just because. Take up a hobby or enroll in a class. Years from now, you’ll thank yourself with or without your boy/girlfriend. Plus it allows for them to take time pursuing the same individual growth. And what’s better than sharing a new part of your life once you’re reunited?

 “If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart.” – Anonymous

View it as a learning journey for the both of you. See it as a test of your love for each other. As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

As Emma says it to Will in season four of Glee,

“I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4

3. TRUST AND COMMITMENT

Trust is such a major issue when it comes to relationship L D R or not everything goes down the drain once you break the trust of the person. Once the commitment is there, the person is entrusting you his or her love and everything that surrounds the relationship. It's hard to build trust to be quite honest and it is a no turning back situation once you break it.

But you have to trust each other to make it work! Don't be a paranoid monster and doubt eater. "That being said, honesty is the best policy. Trust can only be gained when both people practice honesty and transparency, leaving no room for doubt. " ~According to Mark from Thought Catalog.

4. Effort and the Little Things We Can Do.

The little act of kindness can make an impact for people who are in a long distance relationship. It always make a difference, it's the thought that counts. Little acts of kindness can range from a bouquet of flowers to a Facebook wall post saying hi. Try to do little things that let the other person know that you care. You may write love letters and send them in the mail. Or, send small gifts, cards, or flowers for no reason .You know There is power in a memento? Be it a small pendent, a ring, a keychain, a CD of songs and videos, or a bottle of fragrance. We often attach meanings to the little things and items found in our everyday life, whether knowingly or not. This is what we all do — we try to store memories in physical things, in hope that when our mind fails us, we can look or hold on to something that will help us remember. This is why something so simple can mean so much to a person, when others may see little or no value in it.It's easier than ever to find ways to send almost anything to your partner.

Efforts are shared between two person to make it work. We have plenty messenger app to shorten the distnace, we have Skye, email, and so on. It only 1 minute of an effort to message your other half and tell them that you're thinking about them.

5. Keep LOVE burning from the distance.

Nothing real can be threatened and nothing unreal exists. True love can never be threatened. Without love a relationship cannot survive or run its full course. The love you both have will keep the relationship going because it is all that matters. Long distance relationships are not the easiest thing in the world to maintain, but with love and compromise, they can be incredibly fulfilling.

Being in love makes being in a long-distance relationship easy. If your love is effortless, if it branches and grows like ivy across a brownstone, reaching and settling into every nook and crevice, being in a long-distance relationship will be a breeze. 

So be honest with yourself and your significant other. Be in love. And if you’re not in love, then end it. This is how you survive a long-distance relationship. The best part of the long distance relationship is to always remind your partner how much you love them beyond the distance. I mean it is one of the main reason why the relationship in a distance will last longer than it should be. Just keep loving each other pips!

  

So that is much about the stuff I found that will help a long distance relationship. There are more factors and it will always be upto us how we want our relationship work in a distance.  

Just like me and Nick. We are somehow out of the ordinary couple. Reality speaking we're in this long distance relationship situation; we text whenever we have an available time, we call and face time just to fill that void in between the 10,000 miles apart that we have. I'm glad technology was born to make things easier for everybody. Make the space a little bit closer unlike before. At the end of the day the reality still hits us like a bull we cannot escape the distance and beyond that monitor is a thousand and thousands miles of vast ocean between us. This is not my forte and I'm not good at this I think it is the same for him, yet we were willing to work it out.

I want to hold him now, but it's impossible as of the moment. However, I know that after the distance I will have him in my arms. I've never wish something so much in my life than being with someone so badly. When I met him he make all the broken pieces fit back together, I tell to you all pips I want to be with him for the rest of my life. If there's a life before this probably we met already. Both of us feel that we know each other for such a long time. I'm sure everyone experience that kind of feeling. You'll know that he or she is the one, but this is the part that is so hard to explain. So I've read, watched, witnessed couples and ask them the question "How do they know that the person they're with is the one?" Others started as friends, some answer love at first sight, some says they have a crush on the other person and pursue them, other just fall in love and some say just by looking at their eyes they knew that the person is the one. Then a friend ask me if he is the one. I pause and think for a bit and I just answer YES, but I didn't knew it until now. I met him 3 years ago, but circumstances aren't good to us, so we became good friends, but maybe he is the one since the day we met that's what I thought, but got lost in between and now? Yes he is definitely THE ONE and the man I want to be with. 

Right now we do all the possible way to make it work. We set boundaries, plan things but we still try to go with the flow and enjoy the moment and the now not to the point we get frustrated about the future and another thing we don't let our expectation get on the way. What keeps us going? Love of course, the fun we get from the distance, the ideas we share and so on. However, always remember this to keep it low and enjoy it while waiting for the right time to be with the person. It takes a lot of effort to make a LDR work. Make sure to always check where you guys at, make a deadline. I mean you're not going to be in a long distance relationship that too long, right?  

That's it for my long distance relationship and good luck to the people who have the same situation like me. I know we will manage to survive this challenge in our love life. ♥

xoxo,

Ivy