To My Dearest #8

Maybe I wish only nothing but good for you. That life is not as good as what we know and I only think of you, my very own escape from everything I don't understand. You are someone I'm scared of that I didn't even think exist, I'm so scared I will lose something so good again, someone I have ever wanted in my life.
I feel you, I hear you and whether you are far I just know you're there, you're here inside my beating heart. I close my eyes and there you are reaching out for me. Maybe I'm not as ungrateful as I can be, but believe me when I say you're the closest to heaven that I ever can be. Distance is killing the best out of me.You tried as much as you can to share happiness with me, to share your love to broken pieces of me. You tried to look for me when you know I am lost. Maybe I should treat you much better or I just wish I can be better to someone I don't deserve at all. You only showed hope, that there's still a better place in the world and that is beside you. But what am I doing? Why I'm being so close in my heart, when you only showed kindness. I don't deserve you. I'm so ungrateful.

My dearest, I'm a mess, I am lost. I don't think I'll be able to get back or even finish the so called life. But I cannot ask anything from you. I just hope....