Parasocial Chaos: Why We Get Too Invested in Internet Strangers
And what it taught me about boundaries, motherhood, and choosing our attention.
I shared something we don’t always talk about enough—parasocial relationships. That feeling of being connected to influencers, YouTubers, and internet personalities who we don’t actually know... yet we feel so invested in their lives.
I’ve been there. From watching Kyra Sivertson’s emotional podcast to getting way too deep into the drama of family vloggers and creator couples, I’ve realized something:
It’s easy to get caught up in their story while avoiding your own.
But before I dove into the internet mess, I had a parenting moment this week that reminded me why real-life connection matters most.
Mom Moment: Watson, the Castle, and My 5-Year-Old Problem Solver
Driving to drop Lincoln off at Grandma’s house, he casually says:
“Mommy, I called you but you didn’t hear me… Watson peed his bed.”
Our old man dog Watson had an accident, and Lincoln—my five-year-old—handled it all on his own.
He said:
“Remember the castle I made? His bed was beside it. I don’t think I spilled anything on it, but maybe behind it… so I cleaned it up and took the bed outside.”
I asked, “Are you sure it was pee?”
And without hesitation, he answered,
“I think I stepped in his pee puddle, so yeah, I know he did.”
That moment melted me. Not just because he cleaned up the mess, but because he took action without me prompting him. He recognized a problem, handled it the best way he could, and felt confident doing it.
It reminded me that teaching independence isn’t about control—it’s about letting go a little and watching them step into it
The Internet Is Not Our Friend—But It Feels Like One
There’s something comforting about watching influencers’ lives play out like episodes of a favorite show. But there’s danger in that too—especially when they start to feel like friends. We cheer for their wins, cry during their breakups, and rage when they betray our expectations.
But here’s the hard truth: they don’t know us.
We’re forming one-sided relationships based on curated content. And when they slip up—or show us a side we weren’t expecting—we take it personally. Because we thought we knew them. But we didn’t.
Why Moms Are Especially Vulnerable to Parasocial Attachments
Let’s be honest—motherhood can be lonely.
And when your days are filled with routines, chores, and invisible labor, it’s easy to get attached to voices that feel familiar. That mom on YouTube? She gets you. That family vlogger? Their chaos looks like yours.
But that’s the thing. It’s edited. It’s framed. It’s content.
It’s not real connection—it’s comfort disguised as community.
The Shift: Refocusing on Our Own Stories
This week reminded me that while it’s okay to watch, relate, or react… we have to remember who’s holding the camera in our own lives.
Lincoln handling Watson’s accident was a tiny, beautiful example of real growth, real emotion, and real connection. No filters. No comments. No curated captions.
Just a boy learning how to problem-solve—without an audience.
That’s where the magic is.
Final Thoughts
Parasocial relationships aren’t evil—but they’re not meant to replace our own growth.
And when we give too much of our emotional energy to strangers online, we lose sight of the everyday magic happening right in front of us.
So take this as your sign to unplug a little. Watch your child make a decision. Drink your coffee without a screen. Laugh at your dog peeing in the wrong spot.
Because the best stories?
They’re the ones we’re already living.
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