How to Set Realistic Expectations as a MOM

Hi! 

As moms, we often find ourselves bombarded with advice, tips, and social media posts from "momfluencers" who seem to have it all together. From perfectly curated Instagram photos to flawless routines and expert-level meal prep, it can be easy to feel like we're falling short. The truth is, social media often shows only the highlight reel, not the behind-the-scenes chaos that comes with real life.

 my son took this photo

Setting realistic expectations for ourselves as moms is crucial to maintaining our mental and emotional well-being. We don’t need to live up to the pressure of being "perfect" like the influencers we follow. In fact, embracing imperfection and focusing on what really matters is one of the best things we can do for ourselves and our families.

In this post, I’ll discuss why it’s important to set realistic expectations and how to stop comparing ourselves to the seemingly perfect lives we see online. I’ll also share how to embrace the beautiful mess that is motherhood while keeping balance and joy in our everyday lives.

Embracing Imperfection

Being a mom comes with a lot of love, joy, and, let’s face it, a lot of pressure. Whether you're juggling work, homeschooling, household chores, or just trying to keep everything together, it can feel like you’re constantly running on empty. In this post, I want to talk about setting realistic expectations for ourselves as moms and learning to embrace imperfection. It’s not about doing it all—it's about doing what matters, with grace.

The Pressure to Be Perfect

As moms, we often hold ourselves to incredibly high standards. Society tells us that we need to be everything for everyone—perfectly organized, always on top of things, and never showing signs of stress. But this expectation is not only unrealistic, it’s also unhealthy.

I’ve been there—feeling like I had to do everything perfectly, from balancing my career to homeschooling my son, managing my household, and still having time for myself. But the truth is, trying to meet these impossible standards only leads to burnout. Learning to let go of perfectionism has been one of the best lessons I’ve learned.

How to Set Realistic Expectations

Here are some of my tips on how I set my realistic, achievable expectations that works for me and maybe it will work for you too and your family:

1. Prioritize What Matters Most
   Not everything can be a priority. I’ve learned to focus on what truly matters to me and my family. Is it more important to clean the house top-to-bottom or spend quality time with my son and husband? For me, it’s the quality time that takes precedence. This doesn’t mean neglecting responsibilities, but it does mean acknowledging that perfection isn’t necessary in every area of life.

2. Accept That Some Things Will Fall Through the Cracks
   It’s okay to let go of certain tasks. If laundry doesn’t get folded or if the dishes pile up for a day, it’s not the end of the world. Be kind to yourself and remember that you can always pick it up tomorrow. Perfection doesn’t mean getting everything right all the time; it means doing the best you can, even if things don’t go as planned.

3. Set Boundaries
   Learning to say “no” has been a huge game-changer for me. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with commitments, but it’s important to recognize your limits. Setting boundaries with work, family, and even your social life can help keep you sane. You’re allowed to say “no” to things that don’t align with your priorities.

4. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
   In today’s world, it’s easy to look at others and think they’ve got it all figured out. But remember, everyone’s journey is different. Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel. We all have different circumstances, and it’s okay if your situation looks different from someone else’s.

5. Be Kind to Yourself
   Self-compassion is key. Stop beating yourself up when things don’t go as planned. It’s okay to have bad days. The important thing is to get up, try again, and give yourself grace. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.

   

Finding Balance: Embracing the Chaos

At the end of the day, life as a mom will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, but learning to embrace the chaos and letting go of unrealistic expectations has helped me enjoy my journey a lot more. I’ve stopped stressing about every little detail and started focusing on what really matters: spending time with Lincoln, maintaining my health, and feeling fulfilled in both my personal and professional life.

Conclusion: A Journey, Not a Destination

Setting realistic expectations isn’t about lowering standards—it’s about adjusting your perspective and embracing the imperfection of life. It’s okay if everything isn’t perfect; what matters is that you’re doing your best and taking care of yourself along the way. So, let go of the guilt, breathe, and know that you’re already enough.